How difficult was it for you to write Woman Submit?
At first, it was very difficult. I share in the acknowledgments section of the book that "The subject of domestic violence is not a subject I would normally choose to immerse myself
in. God knows it is only by His grace that I was able to complete this work at all. I confess I set it down and allowed it
to collect dust far too often while burying myself in other projects."
When I finally got serious about writing the book, I began going through my journals
and found that I had already written a rough draft of approximately ten chapters, which is how many chapters the finished
book has. Most of what went into the first draft had been written over a period of several years while
still living in the crucible of abuse.
was an emotionally charged project for me, but I felt a burden to speak up and to do it quickly. It took me almost four
years from the events described in chapter one to write and publish Woman Submit! During the interval, according
to 2005 FBI statistics, over 4000 women died from domestic violence.
What is the book, Woman Submit!, about?
Woman Submit! Christians
& Domestic Violence is about saving lives and helping Christian women (and those they are most likely to
turn to for help) navigate a dangerous and very hellish situation.
This book provides solid biblical
answers to the abused Christian woman’s perplexing questions. It was also written in hopes of inducing compassion
for battered women. At this point in time, stray animals are garnering more compassion from our communities than battered
are a formerly battered wife, why did you stay in the marriage past the first instance of violence? I stayed for the same reasons many battered women stay: fear, social isolation, economic reasons.
I loved my husband. And as a Christian woman, the most compelling reason I stayed was because I did not want to commit sin
by divorcing my abusive spouse.
Indocrinated in gender-based submission theology, I followed the counsel
of respected Christian leaders who counsel against divorce--even in the case of wife-beating--so, I continued to hope and
pray for my marriage and to seek solutions other than divorce.
women are consistent counseled to submit to abusive husbands. Is it any wonder they are confused about the importance
of their physical safety. The more appropriate question should be directed at Christian leaders who justify advising women
who are in physical danger to return to violent homes.
Why do you think men beat their wives? Do you believe the doctrine of wifely submission, as taught within many evangelical
churches contributes to domestic violence among Christians? Yes I do. The
way this doctrine is despotic and abusive in and of itself and leads men to believe it is their God-given right to exercise
authority over their wives. This logically leads to problems with abuse when they attempt to assert this authority—especially
with men who deal with power, control, and unresolved anger issues. I might also add that the way the doctrine of submission
is commonly dealt with (within these same circles) effectively shifts the blame for abuse from the husband to the wife. This
happens when she is told that if she reacts submissively to his abuse, his behavior might change.
I saw on your media page that your book might be considered controversial
in some circles. Give us some idea of why?
the book I challenge traditional perceptions of battered women and how the issue of domestic violence is perceived by
the public in general.
I call into
account Evangelical Christian leaders who have tragically let down abused and battered wives within their congregations.
Careless counsel coming from countless pulpits and from leaders with incredible influence (due to television, radio, internet,
and best selling books) has ruined and cost the lives of far too many women. This must
If a woman experiencing domestic violence
called you for guidance today, what would you tell her? I
would assure her that nothing is more important than her physical
Isafety. I would advise her to get to a place of safety immediately. I would encourage her not to worry herself, at this moment,
with the burden of making long-term decisions concerning the future of her life and marriage. She can do that once she is
safe and the crisis is over. I would advise her to call her local victims assistence office (many counties have these associated
with the police or sheriff's offices), so she
can be directed to resources in her area. If she is a Bible believing Christian Woman, I would encourage her to carefully
acknowledge God in all of her ways--even if it goes against the counsel of her pastor. God promises to direct her paths if
she acknowledges Him.
If a family member or friend of a battered woman called you for advice, what
would you say? First, I would advise them not to underestimate the danger their friend
or loved one may be in. Second, do not put conditions on your assistance, such as only helping if she promises never
to go back. Open your heart to her unconditionally while you offer her support. Show her the support and respect she
needs and deserves. This will strengthen her more than you know.
What are your goals for this book? First and foremost, to save lives.
In the United States, over 1000 women are beaten to death each year by their husbands or male companions. I should be
dead, but by the grace of God I am not. As I said earlier, over 4000 women died in the four years it took me to write and
publish this book, and before you go to bed tonight, at least 3 more will be added to that number.
hope is that, by sharing my experience, insights and research, a greater understanding of the dark arena of domestic
violence will serve to generate compassion for battered and abused women within our midst--and that evangelical Christian
women will more consistently be given life-saving counsel rather than counsel that keeps them in danger.